Day 1

Hey! Its Marty here! Today was a pretty unusual day. Since my brother had to go to the doctor this morning at 8:30 my parents let me stay home for the morning until it was time to bring me and my brother to school for the day. I was all excited about this idea because i get to sleep in rather then wake up at 5:30 and since we have this new, stupid time change crap I have not been getting a lot of sleep lately. Well when I got to school I was all shakey and nervous because school to me has been hell! Seeing my dad sign my name in and saying he couldnt pick me up in the middle of the day nor could my mom got me even more nervous! My parents are probably my biggest comfort when I have anxiety. After that I basically chased my dad down and begged him to take me back home! Ofcourse he refused and said I have to just deal with this and I know I do but its so hard to deal with!!!! My dad said all I have to do is just be brave but I am a 90 pound wimp when it comes to this kind of stuff! So as soon as I turned around to go to school I headed straight to guidance, well atleast I tried to but my brother blocked my my way and told me just to go to class and let me tell you I was in no shape to go to class!So I just turned around and headed to the clinic! Once a got there I frantically dialed my dads number knowing that he has just left the school parking lot so he could just pick me up, right? Wrong he again refused and said this was my anxiety talking and he was completely right! Now a days my anxiety does the talking at school not me! So after him hanging up on me I tryed repeatedly calling for which he did not pick up his phone so I decided to call my mom. Thankfully she picked up but had to quickly hang up because she was getting another call from my dad. I left the clinic to get my books and other items from my locker and I got to see all my friends who I havent seen in days!! After saying good bye to them I thought I should stop by guidance to pick up my curriculum guide. Well I got my curriculum guide but I also got some chit chat in with my guidance counselor. She was talking about options for classes and stuff but all I was thinking was getting the heck out of there and going home. Well after 10 minutes in there talking to her my dad walks in! I was so happy yet so upset because I know he would probably be mad with me. My parents now are always upset at me! It makes me feel like a piece of crap and they think they know what Im going through but they dont!!! Im really grateful though that they are helping me and trying to find a way to get me to my old self but I really wish they would cut me some slack. So lets get back to topic, my dad and counselor talked about getting a meeting together with all my teachers which is next thursday at 2:30! Im kind of nervous for that meeting though. Well after they discussed that they started talking about this homebound thing which is a thing were you stay home and a tutor from the county comes to your house and gives you work from your teachers. I don't think I'm ready to give up going to school completely yet but i'm close thats for sure! Finally my dad and me left for home and now I'm completely happy to be in my nice warm house :). So that was my unusual day never had one of those! By the way don't be afraid to comment I would love to hear what you have to say!

- Marty <3